“Hey, Joe Biden!” Video Premieres live TONIGHT

So, I started this post a few weeks ago (it’s Court, btw, doy) and then I got distracted by several things, namely New York City, but who cares, here we are.

As you may know if you follow the FB or the Instagram or the Twitter (I’m not linking any of that shit, just search dirtycurls. Love you, I’m lazy), we filmed the video for “Hey, Joe Biden!” and you may not know we are premiering it LIVE tonight at The Monday Night Comedy Show, at Club Underground underneath Spring Street Tavern.  The whole show starts at 8pm and we’ll be showing the video at some mysterious point (we want you there for the whole show, is that a crime? It’s always a great time at The Monday, you won’t regret it).

But, if you can’t make it tonight, we’re releasing the video online TOMORROW.  Check back here (or at the FB) to see it. And share the FUCK out of it, please!!

You can check out the whole weekend of video shoot pics here, but here’s the highlights:

Cristi directs LIKE A BOSS. Anna takes direction LIKE A BOSS.

Cristi directs LIKE A BOSS. Anna takes direction LIKE A BOSS.

The lady with the camera (you know, the one that’s not Anna), is our new Curlfriend Cristi Rumpza, the brains and brawn behind Girls Aren’t Funny Productions.  I’m sure you can imagine what a nice fit this collaboration is for both of us based on her production company name.  

Cristi designed the video: I pretty much said, “here’s the song, what are your ideas, run with them.” And she did. And it is going to be hilarious, shocking, sweet, and gross.  I can’t wait for you to see it.

Veldie is not really naked... that's just FILM MAGIC!

Veldie is not really naked… that’s just FILM MAGIC!

 

Kevin is totally sporting his "Dude Pube" necklace... and NOTHING ELSE!  Laaaaadiiiieeeeeees!

Kevin is totally sporting his “Dude Pube” necklace… and NOTHING ELSE! Laaaaadiiiieeeeeees!

Lacey and Anna tame their steeds.

Lacey and Anna tame their steeds.

It only gets weirder from here, you guys.

It only gets weirder from here, you guys.

 

I am so excited for everyone to see this video.  Cristi just made the song so much funnier with her imagery and editing; and of course, The Curls outdo themselves in improvised hilarity.  Man, WE ARE FUNNY.  

 

 

 

Merch! Album Update!

Hey Curlfriends!

It’s high time you head on over to our Bandcamp because now we’re selling MERCH!  Yeah!  We’ve got some sexy shirts with crew or deep-V necklines, tote bags, and some “merkins!” They’re not actual pubic wigs, they’re undies with “pubes,” but I decorated them myself and I’ve already sold two, so apparently they’re worth it.

Look at how well I accessorize.

Look at how well I accessorize.

And what’s that design on the shirts and totes, you ask?  Why, it’s Sarah Hedlund Illustration‘s cover art for our upcoming album from Stand Up! Records, “This One’s For Dad,” but it’s Courtney’s bastardized tracing of it.  For simplicity. But check out Sarah’s artwork… we are SO. EXCITED.

IT'S EMBROIDERED.

IT’S EMBROIDERED.

When the eff is our album coming out anyway?  WELL. This is where we’re at right now:

All the songs are done. Final mixes in the can. However, Steve, our amazing sound engineer (and member of one of our brother bands, Beneath The Crow), kept the tape rolling between takes. And, as a comedy band, we’ve all got fiery senses of humor, so there was a ton of hilarious little snippets of banter.  I am really hoping to include a large handful of this on the record as I think it’s a great insight into our magical kismet as bandmates and is indicative of everyone’s individual personality.  I just hope it’s not only entertaining to us!  So, after that, we get approval from Dan at Stand Up!, then we master that shit, send it back to Dan, print it up.  So close.  I think we’re just a little over two months out, at the most. Yes, it’s fucking exciting.

No official release date yet, but I’m aiming for April 1 or April 20.  Shut up. And then we’ll have CDs and mp3s available too.

Oh, and we just finished filming our video for “Hey, Joe Biden!.”  Update on that coming up tomorrow!

Metaphysical Vagina: Lil’ Kim’s “Hardcore”

In case you forget what “Metaphysical Vagina” is, it’s The Curls’ series of what/where/who-ever we’ve been . You can click on the tag at the bottom of the post and if the internet does its job, you’ll be directed to all the 2 or 3 MVs we’ve done over the past two years. ANYWAY.

As you can see by the title, today’s Metaphysical Vagina from whence I came is an album I was obsessed with at age 19, Lil’ Kim’s “Hardcore.”

Don't google what she looks like now, guys. I'm serious. DON'T.

Don’t google what she looks like now, guys. I’m serious. DON’T.

A few weeks ago, I discovered the tape player in my 1995 Camry works, thanks to my roommate who had been borrowing my car and left a tape in it.  Days later, I’m cleaning the pad when I discover the cassette mixes I had made when I was in college titled “(1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th) Year Oddities.” And hoo boy, the memories young Courtney so astutely had the forethought to save in these aural time capsules.  

One song in particular caught my attention – “Big Momma Thang,” by Lil’ Kim from her Hardcore album from 1997.  The thick, buttery, swirling opening beats and loops underneath Kim’s signature alto Kimmy-from-the-block growl transported my white ass back to when I was a dropped-jaw virgin listening to the filthiest things I had ever heard from a woman’s – or anyone’s – mouth.  And suddenly it all made sense.

Please to read the dirty, filthy, amazing lyrics:

I used to be scared of the dick
Now I throw lips to the shit
Handle it like a real bitch
Heather Hunter, Janet Jack-me
Take it in the butt, yah, yazz wha
I got land in Switzerland, even got sand in the Marylands
Bahamas in the spring, baby, it’s a Big Momma thing
Can’t tell by the diamonds in my rings
That’s how many times I wanna cum, twenty-one
And another one, and another one, and another one
24 carats nigga
That’s when I’m fuckin wit’ the average nigga
Work the shaft, brothers be battin’ me, and oh
Don’tcha like the way I roll
And play wit’ my bushy
Tell me what’s on your mind when your tongue’s in the pussy
Is it marriage 
Baby carriage 
Shit no, on a dime shit is mine
Got to keep ‘em comin’ all the time 

Case closed.

Upcoming Shows This Weekend: VALENTINE’S DAY!

Valentine’s Day. Whether you love it, hate it, or don’t give a shit, it just makes sense that it would be a busy weekend for us.  In a couple of ways.  First off, we’re filming our music video for “Hey, Joe Biden!”  Like, the official one, with the official new and beautiful recording behind it. It’s going to be so super sexy. 

Also, seeing as we’re a band that sings about sex and love, we have TWO shows this weekend!  Well, we’re playing sets in two different “game shows.”  

Sextravaganza Slam-Style Pun Contest from Modern Antics

It’s a show where funny people make sex puns! And Courtney & Anna are playing!

 

First, there’s Sextravaganza! The Sex Pun Slam at Club Underground on Friday, Feb. 14 (V-Day!) at 9pm. 

 

Anna & Court

Anna & Court! “… on a park bench, under the moon and the stars”

It’s just Courtney & Anna for this show. Doors are at 8pm and the show kicks off at 9pm with us!  Then Anna has to take off, and Court will be doing solo sets between rounds.  It’s sure to be an amazing time.  

Also, Stand Up! Records labelmate and hilarious comedian Chris Maddock is one of the punners.  This is a delicious cherry on top of this Sex Pundae.  SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Mr. Madoo

This is Chris Maddock. You can already see he’s a comedic genius. See him pun off this Friday at Sextravaganza!

Our other show this weekend is at the Caffetto Dating Game on Feb. 15, starting at 7pm!

 

Image

Say it fast 3 times

 

 It’s going to be all the Curls BUT Anna for this one. We’ll be playing sets intermittently throughout the show while people who want some lovin’ in their life play the classic game your parents grew to love. The show starts around 7pm and will go till about 11pm and we’ll be there all night. Come on out! 

Curls No Anna

We’re all faking happiness because Anna’s not in this picture.

These are our LAST SHOWS in the Twin Cities for a while, probably till our CD Release show (Details TBA! Hang tight!).

Hope to see you there and come say hi!  

 

 

 

 

Happy New Nanosecond!

Curlfriends, it’s Court.

New Year’s is probably one of my favorite holidays, just after Thanksgiving, even though it’s a completely arbitrary date to have the Earth’s rotation around the sun “begin” and “end.” But, whatever, it’s a part of my indoctrination of our culture that I’m okay with. 

Becaaaaaause the New Year represents the blank slate and we all go along with this, so there’s a universal subconscious feeling of relief, renewal, and we’re all war pals. Or maybe I’m just looking at our giggle picture while I type this. The weeks-old header to the site that I was just throwing up there in a moment of needing change… that one. The giggle picture! Well, whatever, the New Year makes me feel like we’re all in it together.

So, what’s in store for the Curls this year?  First off, DULUTH we will be IN YOU on January 17 at the Redstar Lounge and January 18 at RT Quinlan’s! Please come on out and give us a listen and a handshake and maybe something more if we let ya. 

I didn’t login to WordPress to write an entry in our blog, actually, I came here to investigate opening up a shop… for MERCH! But, since I’m doing an update, I’ll tell you: we’re going to have merchandise, finally, at long last! And I’m certain it’s going to be beautiful. Sarah Hedlund is going to adapt the cover art she created to make some cool T-shirts and tote bags. We’re probably just going to go with that stuff and some more stickers and buttons – and of course the CD – for now, but I promise you I am not NOT looking at custom-made merkins online.

Speaking of the CD! Oh you know me, I move slow, but we’re moving. We’re still recording some backup vocals and percussion, mix the rest of it, master it, then I think we’re done. Early spring release, hopefully on a comedy-appropriate day. You know the one.

I made a fancy collage for the inside of the CD cover. I wish I could show it to you now, but I want you to buy the CD and see it in there. And touch it. 

The only other thing I can think of at this very moment is that we played the 331 Club again for New Year’s Eve with Rapedoor and The Drug Budget. It was quite possibly the rowdiest show we’ve ever played, and also the most fun. But I think I say “most fun” after every show. 

Okay, Curlfriends, love you mucho. Happy New Year!

 

Court & Zach’s Desperate for Attention Twin Cities TourFest

Hey Curlfriends! It’s Court again.

First off… you saw our new pictures, right? They’re only totally amazingly sexy. CC Photo Arts is the biz-nomb.

So. After our fabulous, packed residency at the 331 Club, we’re taking a very short break from shows to focus on the album (we’re almost done recording!), play a private party (sure, we’ll play yours!), and then we’ll be back for a few shows in December for a very exciting venture that yours truly and Zach Coulter (comedian, Stand Up! Records labelmate, and MC Tom Johnson from our brothers in comedy music, Valley Meadows) are curating.

It’s calledCourt & Zach’s Desperate for Attention Twin Cities TourFest,” and it’s a crazy idea Zach had that I decided was worth stressing out over. And it totally is.

Designed by Andrew Cahak (@andrewcahak); illustration by Court!

Designed by Andrew Cahak (@andrewcahak); illustration by Court!

We’re curating 12 shows in 12 different venues from Dec. 4 – 15 and we’ve invited a shit-ton of our favorite performers like Actual Wolf, Atlantis Quartet, Martin Devaney, Amber Preston, DJ Brian of Hipshaker & Worldwide Discotheque, The Exiles, The Beavers, Peter Pain, With A Gun For A Face, Paul Dickinson, Cole Sarar, Mona from Father You See Queen, Hotelecaster, Andy Erikson, Mike Fotis, and so many, many others.

We’ll also be launching a Kickstarter to raise funds in a short amount of time, so get ready to be bombarded on the social media. Like where? Oh you know, the Curls’ Facebook, our Twitter, our Instagram, our You Tube, Valley Meadows’ Facebook and Twitter and You Tube, Zach’s and my personal Facebook Pages… Heh.

We’ll be giving away great prizes like signed original posters, TourFest VIP passes, grab-bag merch packages with goodies from the featured artists, theme songs, handmade knick-knacks (custom-made Dirty Curls kazoo, anyone?) and much more. Plus, 12 nights of amazing shows!!

Stay tuned for where to find the line-up and more details!